The Psychology Of Gift Giving

Gift Giving: Found in every known human culture, gift exchange is rarely just about the object; it signals status, creates obligation and tests relationships, and research shows givers and receivers often value very different things.

Marcel Mauss: His 1925 essay 'The Gift' argued there is no such thing as a free gift, since every gift carries three obligations: to give, to receive and to give back.

Potlatch: Pacific Northwest chiefs gained status by giving away or even destroying huge amounts of wealth at these feasts; Canada banned the practice in 1884 and the ban stayed in place until 1951.

Kula Ring: Trobriand Islanders paddle long distances to trade shell necklaces and armbands that circulate in opposite directions around an island chain; the valuables are never meant to be kept, only passed on.

Joel Waldfogel: His 1993 paper 'The Deadweight Loss of Christmas' estimated that recipients value gifts 10 to 33 percent less than what givers paid, a finding economists still argue about every December.

Francis Flynn: His 2009 research with Gabrielle Adams found givers assume pricier gifts are more appreciated, while recipients' gratitude barely changes with the price tag.

Jeff Galak: His research shows givers focus on the moment of unwrapping and choose gifts that surprise, while recipients care more about how useful the gift will be over time.

Julian Givi: His studies found givers shy away from sentimental gifts in favor of ones matching the recipient's stated tastes, even though recipients often prefer the sentimental option.

Elizabeth Dunn: Her 2008 study in Science found that spending money on others boosts happiness more than spending the same amount on yourself, even with sums as small as five dollars.

Robert Cialdini: He described how Hare Krishna members boosted donations at airports by first pressing a 'free' flower into travelers' hands, harnessing the powerful urge to reciprocate.

Dennis Regan: In his 1971 experiment, participants who received an unexpected Coke from a stranger later bought about twice as many raffle tickets from him, even if they did not like him.

Phillip Kunz: In the 1970s this sociologist mailed Christmas cards to hundreds of total strangers and received around 200 cards back, many from people who never asked who he was.

Marshall Field's: The Chicago department store is widely credited with launching the bridal gift registry in 1924, turning gift choosing over to the recipient and removing much of the guesswork.

Blockbuster: The video chain helped pioneer plastic gift cards in the mid-1990s; the format took off partly because it spares givers from choosing, though billions of dollars in card value go unspent.

The Label Maker: This 1995 Seinfeld episode popularized the word 'regifter,' giving a name to a common practice that many people do but few admit to.

Giri Choco: In Japan, women traditionally give 'obligation chocolate' to male coworkers on Valentine's Day, and a confectionery group created White Day on March 14 in 1978 so men could return the favor.

Song Zhong: In Chinese, 'giving a clock' sounds almost identical to attending someone's deathbed, so a clock is one of the most taboo gifts you can offer.

White Elephant: The phrase comes from a legend that the kings of Siam gave sacred white elephants to courtiers they disliked, since the animals were a great honor but ruinously expensive to keep.

Trojan Horse: The most famous gift in legend gave us 'beware of Greeks bearing gifts,' and a lasting reminder that generosity can be a strategy.

Statue of Liberty: France's gift came without a base; Americans had to raise money for the pedestal, and Joseph Pulitzer's newspaper campaign finally got it built by printing the names of every donor.

Panda Diplomacy: China's pandas abroad are loans, not gifts; host zoos typically pay around a million dollars a year per pair, and any cubs born overseas belong to China.

Hallmark: In 1917 the Hall brothers ran out of tissue paper in their Kansas City store and sold decorative envelope linings instead, helping launch the modern gift wrap industry.

Tiffany Blue Box: The company's signature box cannot be bought on its own, only received with a purchase, and the color itself has been a registered trademark since 1998.

Thorstein Veblen: His 1899 idea of 'conspicuous consumption' explains why lavish gifts often say more about the giver's status than about what the receiver wants.

WeChat Red Envelope: Launched in 2014, the feature turned the Lunar New Year tradition of red envelopes into a digital game, and users now send billions of them during the holiday.