The Psychology Of Regret

Psychology Of Regret: Regret is the painful sense that things would be better had we chosen differently, and research shows it shifts over a lifetime from mistakes we made toward chances we never took, powerfully steering the choices we make next.

Thomas Gilovich: His 1995 research with Victoria Medvec found people regret their actions more in the short term, but over a lifetime the things they failed to do haunt them far more.

Bronnie Ware: The Australian palliative care worker's book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying reported the most common deathbed regret was not having the courage to live a life true to oneself.

World Regret Survey: Daniel Pink collected regrets from more than 16,000 people in over 100 countries and sorted nearly all of them into four types: foundation, boldness, moral and connection regrets.

Neal Roese: His 2005 analysis with Amy Summerville found Americans' biggest regrets cluster around education, career and romance, the areas where people still see the most opportunity to change.

1992 Barcelona Olympics: Researchers studying medal ceremony footage found bronze medalists looked happier than silver medalists, who were tormented by how close they came to gold.

Amos Tversky: In a classic scenario with Daniel Kahneman, most people said an investor who lost money by switching stocks would feel worse than one who lost the same amount by staying put.

Shai Davidai: His 2018 study with Thomas Gilovich found about 72 percent of people's biggest regrets involved failing to become their ideal self, compared with 28 percent about failing duties.

Harry Markowitz: The Nobel winning father of modern portfolio theory admitted he split his own retirement savings 50/50 between stocks and bonds simply to minimize future regret.

Jeff Bezos: He left a Wall Street job in 1994 using his Regret Minimization Framework, imagining himself at 80 and asking which choice he would regret more.

Graham Loomes: His 1982 Regret Theory with Robert Sugden argued people weigh not just outcomes but how bad they'll feel about the option they passed up, explaining choices standard economics could not.

Stefanie Brassen: Her 2012 brain imaging study found healthy older adults showed a dampened response to missed chances in a game, suggesting letting go of regret may be part of aging well.

Nathalie Camille: Her 2004 study found patients with damage to the orbitofrontal cortex felt no regret after losing a gamble, even when shown the better option they had passed up.

Restaurant Row: In this 2014 maze experiment, rats that skipped a food option and got a worse deal paused to look back at the missed choice, one of the first signs of regret in animals.

Serena Chen: Her 2016 research found people who treated their regrets with self compassion were more motivated to make amends and improve than those who beat themselves up.

Edith Piaf: Her 1960 anthem of having no regrets was dedicated to the French Foreign Legion, whose paratroopers adopted it after a failed coup attempt the following year.

Monty Hall Problem: Most players stick with their first door even though switching doubles their odds, partly because losing after switching feels far more regrettable than losing by staying.

Dale Miller: His 1986 study with Cathy McFarland found people awarded more compensation to a robbery victim hurt at a store he rarely visited than one hurt at his usual store, because the unusual choice felt more regrettable.

Dutch Postcode Lottery: Because winning tickets are drawn by neighborhood, Marcel Zeelenberg found people who skipped buying felt sharp regret when their postcode won, and that fear drives many to play.

Alfred Nobel: After a newspaper mistakenly ran his obituary in 1888 calling him a merchant of death, the dynamite inventor reportedly resolved to leave a better legacy through the Nobel Prizes.

Robert McNamara: The Vietnam era Defense Secretary wrote in his 1995 memoir In Retrospect that he and his colleagues had been wrong, terribly wrong, one of the most public regrets by an American official.

Dick Rowe: The Decca Records executive became known as the man who turned down the Beatles in 1962, a decision that followed him for the rest of his career.

Ronald Wayne: The third Apple cofounder sold his 10 percent stake for $800 in 1976, a share later worth billions, yet he has said for decades that he doesn't regret it.

The Road Not Taken: Robert Frost wrote the 1916 poem partly to tease his friend Edward Thomas, who always regretted whichever path they chose on their walks, yet it is read today as a sincere ode to bold choices.

Barry Schwartz: The author of The Paradox of Choice found maximizers, people who hunt for the best possible option, report more regret and less satisfaction than satisficers who settle for good enough.